"What would trolls want with Mr. Bunt?" asked Biff.
"How should I know?" Grug growled. "Would you leave me alone and let me do this?"
Biff paced frantically around the office for a few moments before he had to ask again. "Are you absolutely, positively, one hundred percent sure they weren't ants?"
Grug the Barbaric looked up angrily from the desktop computer and yelled. "They weren't ants! They were trolls, okay? Ants are tiny six-legged insects. These guys were much bigger. Now shut up."
Biff shut up. Grug was easily ten times his size, and Biff had no desire to annoy him further. Still... "You can't trust those ants," he mumbled.
An icy glare from the barbarian silenced him.
"Well, have you at least found anything?" he asked after a minute or so.
Grug shook his head. "Vidal's not letting me log on."
"Could it be a bug in the program?" Biff asked as casually as he could manage.
"No. It could not be a bug," Grug said. He patted the battle axe he had propped against his knee to make sure Biff got the point.
He got it.
"Well, what can you do to fix it?" he asked.
Grug shrugged. "Well, we could have tried to see Vidal in person, if someone hadn't insisted that Mr. Bunt be the only one with the security clearance to that area."
Of course he had to be the only one. What could be more rational? "It was to protect them from the ants," Biff explained. "They're terribly intelligent creatures. Oh, not the individuals, of course, but the society en masse. They're like biots, except they get things done!"
"That's it," said Grug. "I'm going to kill you."
He stood up and swung the axe at Biff's head. Biff ducked out of the way and dived under the desk. The hulking barbarian would take his arms off anyway, of course. But he could take it. Just so long as it wasn't ants.
He saw two colossal legs step towards him, and braced himself for the worst. But it didn't come.
"Mr. Stenson? Mr. Picaro?" It was Mr. Bunt's secretary. "There are some people wanting to see you."
"I'm busy." Grug told her.
"I'm afraid it's terribly important, sirs," She said.
Grug grunted. "Alright, we'll see them," he said. He reached under the table and lifted Biff with one hand. "And I'll deal with you later."
That meant almost certain death for Biff, but at least it wasn't ants.
The lady lead Gwildiana and her two companions into the main office of Bunt Plaza. Two men were there: one a dorky looking executive type in a suit, the other a wall of muscle in leather boots and a leopardskin loincloth. The big one, obviously a barbarian nerd from the plains outside Krin, was holding the other up with one hand, but tossed him aside as they made their entrance.
"What is it?" said the barbarian.
"Grug!" the other one said. "Don't you know who that is? That's Molk of NAD. He's an agent!"
"Oh."
The little man stepped forward. "I'm Biff Stenson," he said. "Vice President of the Bunt Corporation. This is Grug, captain of BuntCorp's flagship, the Profit, and one of the best computer hackers in the universe."
"Ungh," said Grug.
Molk grunted back. "As Mr. Stenson said, I am Molk of NAD. This is my niece, Gwildiana. The dog is actually a holomorph droid controlled by Dexter, a friend of ours."
"Hello," Dexter barked.
Molk went on, addressing Gwildiana more than anyone. "Dexter is also quite a computer hacker. He's done pretty well for himself from what I hear. He'll make someone a very good husband some day."
Would he never stop with that? "Uncle, I don't think this is the time," she said.
"Right. Look. Is Mr. Bunt in? We've run into quite a bit of trouble, and we could use his assistance."
"I'm afraid not," Biff said. "Grug claims a band of trolls hijacked two of our airships this morning. Personally," he added in a whisper, "I think they were ants."
"Could be," said Dexter, who had just turned into one.
Gwildiana had to toss Biff across the room to keep him from squashing him. The little man crawled into a corner and began sobbing. How pathetic.
Meanwhile, Grug was eyeing her lustfully as she resumed the VP's tale. "Less than an hour ago, the Risky Business returned for Mr. Bunt. We've got an engineering team working as fast as they can to get the Profit flightworthy again."
"Carpenter ants," Biff explained, much calmer now that Dexter was a flesh-eating tiger.
"They were termites," Grug said flatly.
"We've seen one of your airships," Gwildiana said. "The Hostile Takeover landed in Ina just a few hours ago. Trolls were jumping out of it all over the place until Uncle here managed to blow it up."
"How tragic," Grug said. "The Takeover was a fine ship. I told them that filling a balloons with hydrogen was a bad idea, but some people just don't listen."
"Right," said Molk. "But the question is, what would trolls want with an airship?"
"Two airships," Biff reminded. "And Mr. Bunt. And whatever they wanted in Ina."
Gwildiana took out the two pictures she'd brought. "We found these a few days ago on a troll right here in Bage. Herbert Bunt and a biot Princess named Vob Frockeneller."
"Wait a minute," Biff said. "What if these guys are after the agents?"
"Then the ship in Ina was looking for me," Molk said. "But how would they know I was there? No one knew but the zencart lady, my bartender - Ernie, and Guru."
"And therefore Montella," Dexter added. "You don't think that drugware might have some additional side effects?"
"Drugware?" Grug asked.
"We also found a microdisk on that troll," Gwildiana explained. "When Molk and Guru ran it, it turned out to be some sort of computer-drug software."
"Right," Molk continued. "Guru ran it through Montella, a sort of virtual codella he made up, and the thing went trippy."
"So you think the drug stuff might have caused this Montella to tell the trolls where you are?" Biff asked.
"Unless," Dexter said suddenly. "Unless Montella imprinted on a troll! He is a Codella, so it's possible."
Grug, Molk, and Dexter, the three computer nerds, exchanged worried glances. "Has that ever happened before?" Grug asked. "I mean, a troll?"
Molk shook his head. "Not that I know of. And I've been around since the start. Besides, Montella didn't seem capable of simple addition when I saw him, much less imprinting."
"Then let's go with the drug idea for now," said Dexter. "If this stuff got to Montella, couldn't it have gotten to the other Codellas as well? I'm not an agent, and Zok doesn't talk much anyway, except to animals, so I've never really seen how this psychic communication stuff works. Could they have just sent it to the other Codellas psychically?"
Molk thought a minute. "It's possible, but the Codellas are pretty alert. They'd have to be convinced to run it some way."
"So let me see if I get this," Grug said. "The trolls somehow come up with this software. They bring it on disk to Bage, and presumably the other Codella cities as well - Noll, Krin, Keltarr, Salamiwood... Somehow they're supposed to convince at least one of the Codellas - we don't know how many or which ones - to run it. Today they hijack two airships, probably so that they can kidnap the agents. You managed to blow one of them up... Let's hope there weren't any humans aboard. Meanwhile, Bunt is missing, we can't access Vidal, and the trolls are apparently behind it all. So. Where did they get so smart?"
"Ants!" Biff shouted. "It has to be ants! They're incredibly intelligent! Twice, twice I tell you - they've knocked over my house. Eaten my dogs. Terrorized my children. That's why I work for Herbert Bunt, the man who invented the greatest bug spray in the world. Ants! They're after me, and they're after you! They want to rule the world!"
The man was going into hysterics, but Grug quickly put a stop to it with a jab to the back of his neck. He fell to the ground, unconscious.
"He does that all the time," Grug explained.
"Well look," said Molk. "I'd better see if Guru's found anything out. How long till the Profit is airworthy?"
"Should be done in the next half hour, we hope. But don't worry, it's twice as fast as the other two. We'll catch up."
"Perfect," said Molk. "We're coming with you. I suggest we head towards Keltarr first. Trolls are too stupid to do anything without the biots, so if we're going to find anything, we'll find it at WorldCorp."
"Sounds good," said Grug.
"Right. Wake me when it's time."
He winked at Gwildiana and nodded towards Grug, then threw himself into a comfortable office chair and began snoring.
"That's how he talks to Guru," she explained.
"You should see Mr. Bunt," Grug said. "He just starts talking to himself only Vidal talks back through him. It's very eerie."
"I bet," Gwildiana said.
She half expected at least one of the two conscious men remaining in the room to start hitting on her. After all, she was a gorgeous redhead, not to mention an adventurous Resistance member, and the niece of an agent. She was just waiting to turn them down. But Dexter asked Grug some technobabble question about his desktop computer, and after that they simply forgot she was there. So she picked up a copy of Bunt's Guide to Profitable Heroism from a small bookshelf and began reading.
There was nothing else to do but wait.
Half an hour later, Grug lead Dexter and Gwildiana to the airdock. Biff had woken up, but they'd left him at the office.
Molk on the other hand was still sound asleep, and had apparently partially zenned from all the pressure, as he he'd started floating several inches off the ground. No one had been able to wake him, so Grug had him slung over his left shoulder. At least they could still move him.
The dock was atop one of Herbert Bunt's many buildings. There was space for a whole fleet of airships, but Grug explained that the machines were still in the testing stage, and only three were in existence. Two, now that the Hostile Takeover was history.
"The Profit is the finest of the lot," Grug explained. "The balloon is filled with helium, for one thing, so it won't explode. In addition, we've got twenty zenheads scattered around the ship, all coordinated by Jasmine, the onboard computer. She's about the closest thing you can get to a Codella that's small and light enough to take into the air. Psychic, but her range is limited only to the ship itself."
"Still, she sounds pretty cool," Dexter said.
"Quit talking about computers," Gwildiana commanded.
"Sorry," said Grug. "Anyway, the zen score allows for ultra-fast travel through the atmosphere. We're almost up to the same speed as some of the early fossil fuel airplanes."
"The Resistance could use technology like that," Gwildiana pointed out.
"I'm sure if they can afford it, Bunt would work something out," Grug said. "Ah! Here it is."
The Profit was huge. Like the Takeover, it was a modified seaship. The hull was wooden, with most of the bottom hastily repaired after the termites. It's sails had been replaced by the giant red balloon, and there were zenheads and wires hanging out all over the place. It looked like a pile of junk, actually.
"Are you sure it will fly?" Gwildiana asked.
"Will she fly, she asks!" Grug said, laughing. "I ask you, does a transneural descrambler unit go beep? Of course she flies! She's the soundest ship on Earth! Come on, I'll introduce you to the crew."
They climbed a from the floor to the main deck, and Grug roared for all hands to join them. And what a motley crew they were.
"First mate Rex Biker," Grug introduced.
A bearded man in a black leather and chains stepped forward. "How's it goin', dudes?" He asked.
"Ship's Doctor, Edna Pulverizer."
"Hello," said a red-haired woman. She looked strangely out of place. Almost like a typical teen biot's mother.
"Our Navigator, Beta."
An extremely shiny robot stepped forward. "Salutations, humanoids and holomorph droid," it said.
"Beta is another one of Bunt Lab's creations. He's based on a similar android of unknown origin that some of our scientists discovered about four years ago."
"Cool," said Dexter.
A look of concern crossed the robot's metal face. "The current temperature is actually a little above normal for this time of year. Perhaps your sensors need adjusting?"
Grug ignored it. "Our weapons specialist and chief of security, Lorf."
The man who stepped up was tall and dark, and had a series of ridges across his immense forehead.
"You're a troll!" Gwildiana said before the man had a chance to speak.
Grug spoke up quickly. "Lorf is a very respected member of our crew. His loyalties are clear. Right, Lorf?"
"Yes, Captain. As Mr. Bunt is fond of saying, humanity is attitude. I find trolls despicable, myself."
"My apologies," Gwildiana said.
"Ship's counsellor Marimba Athens," Grug went on.
A dark haired lady walked towards them, though perhaps walked was not quite the word, as she was floating several inches off the floor.
"I can sense your curiosity," she said. "I'm half salami, half zenhead."
"I didn't know zenheads were capable of that sort of thing," Dexter said. "I mean, they just sit there..."
"Mom started zenning shortly before my birth," Counsellor Athens explained. "It was just enough to affect my development. All in all, I'd say it's been fairly beneficial. It got me Rex, and this job, and so on."
She floated over to the first mate and gave him a hug.
Grug cleared his throat, and the two lovebirds fell back into place. "Finally, our engineer, Georgie McFord."
Two beady eyes peered at them through six-inch lenses, and it took Gwildiana a moment to realize that there was actually a little man behind those immense glasses.
"Good to meet you, ma'am," Georgie said to Dexter, who had morphed into a little squirrel.
"Yes, the finest crew on the face of the planet," Grug went on. "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Gwildiana and Dexter, and -" he dropped Molk onto the ground before them, "Molk of NAD. They will be accompanying us on a mission to rescue Mr. Bunt. We leave immediately. Beta, set in a course."
"Aye aye, Captain."
"Let's get out of here," he said.
Gwildiana thought it sounded a little fake, and made a mental note to supply the Captain with a better phrase whenever she thought one up.
Meanwhile, the Profit took to the sky.