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entries for 2002/8/20
twenty six
Well, I'm 26 now.
A year ago, I was just fiddling around with this hosting business, still planning to build Zikeshop. I'd just started work at Media Ocean and was thankful to have a job - especially on an XP team. I weighed 230 pounds and thought that was excessive (I'm somewhere around 255 today). I
wanted to make more friends.
I certainly didn't expect to end up here, living with Zach and Jon, with Laura back in Atlanta. I didn't expect a thriving web hosting company. I read my mission statement fairly often back then, but I didn't really grok this daily reflection stuff. I didn't even know how to control my inbox (not that too many people were signing up and sending me email). I was just starting to lose control of my finances, but I never expected to wind up twenty grand in debt.
I'm happy with where I'm at, though. I'm not proud of the debt, or
the fat, or the way I've ignored my social life. I've been completely off balance and obsessed with cornerhost, but I like where that's taken me.
I like that my paycheck is finally several hundred dollars bigger
than my bills. I like that that paycheck comes from a business that I actually own! I like that I'm reviewing my goals and steering my life in the right direction every single day. I like
that I'm now living with friends who are just as positive and goal oriented as I am. I like it that I haven't used a credit card in months.
Anyway, it's 4:00am and I'm rambling. I didn't want to go to
sleep until I could put some thoughts up here.
What's my direction now? Well, the business is on its way. There's still a long list of things to be done there, and I plan to
continue to work a little bit each day on things like automation
and the control panel and improvements to the billing system.
But I think it's time to start looking for balance again. I feel like I'm in control of my finances again. The debt is there, but it's shrinking. So that covers work and finance. My brain's getting plenty of exercise. Which leaves my health and social life.
I know the right things to do when it comes to health. The problem
is doing them. Why? I don't think I've really got a clear idea of
why I want to be in great shape. I wrote down some notes a while
back on just that topic, but none of my reasons are all that compelling.
I also need to plan better. Come to think of it, that goes for just about all areas of my life. Meals. Goals. Moods. I've been moving
in that direction, but I don't have anything written out to back me up, the way I do with my scorecard and checklist. Could I do a body for life style challenge now that I've gotten into the groove with this daily scorecard / review thing?
Social life... Having some of my best friends nearby sure helps.
But there are plenty of other people I'd like to hang out with, but don't... Like Obie
and Nicole and Joe (and Troy
and Clay and Dheeraj and other folks without websites)... I haven't seen Tom and Kim in months. Not to mention all the great people I just haven't met yet.
Also, I would like to get more involved with groups. Specifically,
- Junior Achievement - a nonprofit organization that teaches children about free enterprise
- XP Atlanta Group - just because it's a good crowd of smart people
- socrates cafe - something I'd really like to participate in, but that I've been too chicken to start.
- toastmasters - well, just because.
- An improv group or class
- And of course, turning sabren enterprises inc into a team effort!/li>
And of course, somewhere in all that mingling, I'd like
to start dating again. I'd basically put that whole concept out
of my mind because my life has been so out of whack with cornerhost (and before that, zike, and before that... I'm not really sure. Getting over Laura, I guess)
Almost four thirty now. One more thing along these lines, and then I'm going to bed:
I want to start living my mission statement. Especially the personality stuff. The past couple days with all these new people around, I've noticed myself kinda retreating into my shell. Putting on the fake "just ignore me" personality I use to keep myself out of the crowd. The point of that was to keep myself isolated so I could focus on "my stuff". Now that I make a living doing "my stuff", I don't have to worry about that horrible time consuming "working for other people stuff", which means I should now have time to spend with people. Which means the strategy that I used to keep people away ought needs to be revamped. Which just means I need to start being friendly and outgoing again. :)
Anyway, that's the State of the Michal Report for this birthday.